by Jonathan Owens
Originally published on Doxopolis, a culture blog from the staff at The City, a church-focused social network product. You may view an archived copy on Tumblr.
This is not something I would write anymore, but it is preserved here for posterity. This was a long and impactful season of my life.
After all, if you don’t feel like dealing with a friend’s problem online, all you have to do is log off.
It turns out awkward silences are some of the most important moments in your life. It’s the moment when the true nature of the relationship is revealed. Will you plow ahead or will you change the subject? It’s far too easy to change the subject of a chat, or just sign off. “Oh, I got dropped…” and the moment passes.
Christian community is full of awkward silences – in fact, a healthy community should strive to have more of them. God’s trinitarian personhood has set an example of perfect intimacy that we are called to follow, and pursuit of intimacy means lots of moments where we are stretched and challenged to reach out to one another.
The incredible immediacy of online communication means no more awkward silences. This can never replace the incredible intimacy of real life relationship. Here the church must be particularly strong in its separation from culture. Actual intimacy is expensive, awkward, stressful, but online immediacy is cheap, sure, and comfortable. Taken to the extreme, it can become relationship pornography. Take just the bits of friendship that serve your needs, and discard all the parts that require you to serve others. The connected culture is moving quickly in this direction and the church must not be caught in this tide, or find itself full of people with ears who cannot hear, and mouths but cannot speak. (Ps 135:15-18)
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